Minimalism 1

Gaze

Mommy Licker

Barb

Queen of Hearts, First Test.

By Miss Betwixt and Ash

Snow Day?

Probably Enlightened or Something.

I'm different now. It's strange. I getting pretty good at putting things in perspective, handling my stress (sometimes) I am however not so good at keeping this blog updated. The whole bigfoot thing I started documenting i kind of just stopped, I did complete the costume and it was amazing. I just unfortunately did not document the process. Oh well, moving on. As i said I'm probably enlightened and such you know, able to see things differently realize the fluidity of reality etc... More importantly I've sort of started to/am thinking of working on a novel like thing. I will write it all as one chunk but over time release over time on another blog which remains at a secret location. I've thought this dozens of times but I genuinely think I'm going to start updating semi regularly...no really. Well this has been a boring update post so I better think of something fun and exciting to say... OK, here's an anecdote which I found quite funny:
The other day I was walking down the street, it was snowing hard and it was the kind of snow which sticks to you all over then melts so you get completely soaked and cold. I was walking to a bus stop and the only way there was a slushy sidewalk on the side of a very busy road. I had to run through this retched slush and snow, while describing the process on my phone somehow, I'm not sure how that happened. Anyway, by the time the bus came I was cold and soaked and tired. As I got on the bus I was happy to see half a dozen or so free seats, I walked to the nearest one and saw the person had their small bad on the seat next to them. They gave me a very evil scowl when I gestured my desire to sit next to them. I didn't feel like sitting next to someone who was going to be suck a raging dick but then discovered most of the other people with open seats had small backpacks which they could in no way be bothered to move. I was on a bus of throbbing raging dicks I thought, until finally I was offered a spot next to someone who was carrying a huge hockey bag. It was humorous...
That's not a very funny anecdote. huh...though I could do better. Oh well fuck it. fine I'm just going to post a cool picture i took now as a separate post cause i do that.

Bigfoot-Part 2

Well it's part two of my Bigfoot adventures which is my first shopping scores! My first stop on the list was value village was to look for cheap fur coat to make the main suit, which I figure would be cheaper than a fake fur fabric. They had several nice coats that could work but none for under 50 dollars! That's way to much for me, but I did find a crazy animatronic monkey there, as well as some kind of huge blaster gun toy which I plan to make into a prop or sculpture. From there I went to a crazy temporary Halloween store and got some extra fake fur to apply to my face.



At the Halloween store I also found a great gorilla mask and gloves which I will modify to suit the costume. That was the end of shopping day one. a pretty good haul I would say.



The next day it was off to fabric land. I found a few fur fabrics that could work but they were all around 40 dollars a yard, and I needed several yards! A little discouraged I looked to the bargain bin finding two perfect faux fur throws, which where more than enough fabric for around the price of one yard of the fake fur fabric.



I've got a great start on my materials, There's not much left to find now and then construction can begin. As soon as I figure out how to make a pattern for the suit that will fit me, And I need to figure out how to sew.

Bigfoot-Part 1

Well, the leaves have begun to fall and scurry across the pavement in the wind, the cool musty autumn air has moved in, which means Halloween is not far away. I get very excited for Halloween every year and tend to go fairly all-out on my costume. I've formulated a theory just recently which is that the costume you choose for Halloween reflects what you see yourself having been like over the course of the year. For example, a few years back I went through some difficult times, but Ii made it through, I felt strong proud, and fearless. That year (without considering why) I dressed up as Ash from Evil Dead. For those of you not familiar with Evil Dead, Ash is a normal guy, who has the love of his life and all of his friends killed before him by ancient evil demons, His hand is then infected by evil, he self amputates it, with a chainsaw, then attaches the chainsaw to his stump and kills the evil demons. This year a friend of mine who is often somewhat cocky is planning a Tony Stark costume. Apparently he sees himself as a prodigal ladies man capable of saving the world. Before I figured out this idea of costumes reflecting self image, I already had my mind completely set on being Bigfoot this Halloween. So, according to my own theory, I see myself as a huge hairy ape that nobody believes in.

A Movie Review, Finally: Pineapple Express

In my little spiel about what this site would deliver I mentioned movie reviews, which I have yet to do. So I figure I'll tell you something about the new film much anticipated by me: Pineapple Express. I stumbled across a trailer to this movie months ago and was very excited to see what looked like a movie which perfectly blended my three favorite genres; Comedy, Action, and Crime. Even its IMDB page lists all three as it's primary genres. So in the last few months I think I got myself a little too excited. I watched every trailer, commercial and interview. Read every article, and scoured the net for leaked clips. So now exactly 12 hours from finally seeing it, this is what it came down to. I got my expectations too high. Not that it wasn't as good as I expected, it perhaps was better. However, I spent too long trying to Piece together how the movie would go, and what the style would be like. I figured it would be exactly the way I would make this type of movie, which it wasn't, cause they Aren't me. Thinking it over I've realized it was also largely a stoner movie, and especially since I happened to be going to the 4:20 pm showing I was probably one of the only sober audience members. The jokes were still funny when not high, but there were some moments they just seemed to be saying "Look we're high too!". I would definitely recommend anyone see this movie high or not, so long as they like wacky comedy, exciting action, and some hearty violence. Check out this trailer if you haven't seen one, but dont go nuts to find other like me.


P.S.
I almost went to bed then thought it would be pretty sweet if I put my review out at 4:20 it being a stoner movie and all.

Invention: Cascading Hierarchy Ecosystem for Fish (CHEF)

Enlarge for best understanding.

Well, it's 3:30AM the average time I've been getting to sleep recently is around 5:30-6. I get into bed around 4:30 but it's around its takes an hour or more to sleep. Too much stress that I'm not doing what I should be, or too much excitement for upcoming things I never end up doing. I can't let myself keep this up though, so now when I'm up this late I'll make a blog entry so I can at least feel like I'm doing something. I guess was my post for the now, so I'm back to watching old poorly ripped Kids in the Hall sketches on youtube.

Grimey

The End of My World.

Relax, This post isn't nearly as emo/whiny as the title makes it sound. It's just relevant right now in a strange way. I remember a while back, In the 90's when "The end of the world as we know it" by REM was constantly playing on the radio.

I was pretty young at the time, and though i liked the song I took it as the song literally being about planet earth exploding or the like. Some how this concept/concern of mine was mentioned to someone older.

They explained that the song could alternatively be conceived as someones reality changing drastically, the example they gave was someone I knew who was moving far from where they lived into a very different town. They also went from being a crazy bachelor in a cool apartment to moving in with a family in a townhouse.

As young as I was I understood this well, and have always remembered it. Specifically whenever I saw someone in a situation where they had to make a move into a very different environment.
I've moved a few times since then, but always to other similar houses in the same small suburb.
Now however, It's finally happened.

My world has ended. I sit typing this downtown In a very different funky house with new people. All my friends I grew up with and places I've come to know are back in my old little suburb. This is it. It's the end of my world. and just as REM said: I feel fine. I've made a big change, I was scared leading up to it but now that it happened I can feel it's for the best.

I had alot of great times in the old world. There have also been parts of my life recently I have not been happy with.
So, I figure if my world has ended then a new one is starting, (hopefully I'm not just floating in space.) I want this world to be even better. I want to this by making myself better, better to my own perception not to that of others, something I've been talking about for a long time.

A friend of mine recently made me aware of a awesome new blog called Shades of Zander.
He has been talking about a similar self improvement concept, and he did a fun exercise of making a list of things to do before he dies, I've been wanting to do this for a long time so I'm just going to do it. Most things in the following list are actual goals others I could possibly do without.

Before I, Ashly Colton Die I Hope To:

-Go to, among other places Mexico
-Perform a stand-up comedy routine
-Find a true kindred spirit
-See Bigfoot again ( and try to get to know him)
-Feel I have truly helped someone, and made large positive change in their life.
-Scuba dive
-High cliff dive
-Sky dive
-Do more extensive hiking including to here.
-Experience sensory deprivation
-Threesome with Japanese twins
-Have a feature film played in a theatre
-Have a feature released to DVD
-Learn to juggle, Including contact, hat, and box juggling.
-Fly a plane
-Crash a plane
-Crash a car
-Jump a car (hopefully not related to the item above)
-Ride/own a motorcycle
-Spend my life with someone


I could go on forever but I'm mostly thinking of fun crazy stuff so I'll stop for now. Lets finish this off with something completely cheesily inspiring. (From one of my new favourite movies "Hotrod")

Gazing Out

A Moment Not Captured

As the women lay sleeping in their shelter, our taste for adventure grew as we bathed in moonlight

Though only one among us truly knew the way we all felt pulled in the right direction, moving surreptitiously down paths as not to disturb those who rested all around.

As we reached the clearing we gazed in awe at the pure white light casting long and narrow shadows across the sand

The light encompassed the gently rippling water, causing patches of glimmering shattered glass to dance across the lake

The air was fresh and cool with only a slight scent of forming dew

As we began to trek along the edge in search of the special place found earlier we all felt the need to remove our shirts, the light of the moon felt magical on our skin

The further we traveled across the edge above the shore the more beauty we could see out across the water as the moonlight danced

We finally stopped realizing we had long passed the place we had searched for, and stumbled across one far nicer

As we sat on the edge with our legs hanging down towards the shore we enjoyed the sounds of nothing, but water gently moving, and a distant cricket, on occasion interjected by a fish jumping and coming back down with a splash

I sat I though how our situation seemed like a scene from a movie, which people would remark snarkily on how no one ever enjoys a scene that perfect.

I first wished I had brought my camera but realized there are some moments which are best left not captured, only retold.

Bridging the Gap

Another pipe...

Drifting

Standing